The beginning of the End

Well here goes nothing,
My first attempt at the blog world that I feel like has been around for centuries now. I Started my page last September and have come back every other day to stare at its empty screen. Why now? Why begin to map this autonomous thing I call life? I guess I thought it may be interesting to watch a change in my life that is beginning to happen. This change is huge! Or at least it feels big to me. Over the last 11 yrs I have grown tremendously. I have fallen in love and I don't mean the romantic kind. I have always had myself to lean on, but I truly fell in love with my own spirit and this big universe that it contains. Falling in love with something so grand can sure leave you walking around aimlessly. With all of my devoted and passionate spirit, I know it is being left to waste if I find no physical purpose with it. From time to time I dive into peoples lives reflecting for a brief moment, the very beautiful spirit they seem to be having trouble to find. I leave them with this insight and then I move on. I call it my angel technique. But I guess it is the very human spirit that leaves me unidentified and unaccomplished , like it is not enough. Is this my calling...calling my name? Is something bigger on the horizon? May I rapture even more beautiful spirits? I don't know. But I do know with every ounce of my heart I am on the brink of change. On earth, for the last 7 years, I have been a manager of a coffee shop in one location. I love this place. It vibrates with me. It circulates with energy and love. More so than I think most people are aware. The business is now changing hands in June, and my future is uncertain. At the end of May I leave for the mystical land that thousands of bohemians, artists, poets and philosophers go to in search of something more...Peru. Not to mention in August I leave for my first Burning Man. This many life changing events typically do not happen in such a condensed time frame, but it is for me. This is why I know change is on the horizon.
Most people work toward earthly goals, which makes complete sense. My goals are a bit more blurred and not very physical. My goal is to become love. to become infinite. to reach nirvana. to become nothing and everything at the same time. to leave a mark. to give you another smile. This all plays into the aimless walking about I mentioned earlier. At what point can I draw a conclusion of how close I am to my goals? It has to be something I feel. I can no longer explain the work I am putting in towards you. It has to be felt. This brings me to why I keep one foot on the ground, why i work at a coffee shop and why I still search for the physical answer to my dilemma. I hope that this is what the change that I feel approaching is.
My light has to become brighter.