The Last of 'Holding On'

The build up is intense.
Alone time shouldn't feel this good
but it does.
Its amazing to me the irony in how much I care about others
but right now I'm pushing you away.
I need to give myself endlessly to you.
I know its my hearts calling, but its the realization of
unfinished business within myself that scares me.
Soo many pressures that I defy.
age, race, sex, politics,religion...walls of garbage...

My heart sings through all of this mess.
I am dancing on your planet like a whirling Dervish
begging you to be free with me.
but its the begging that has me stumbling
why am I so concerned about you all?

I have been thinking about this alot lately..
I know most subscribe to the theory and I do as well
that we have to make ourselves happy first right?
but what happens if ..
what continues to keep me happy is giving YOU a smile?

Im not some preachy fool who doesn't understand my own objectives.

I understand them clearly.

I know what I am working for and why I am doing it.

I'm not lofty and I'm not dreaming.
I know without a doubt the human potential.
I know YOUR potential.
I am not going to subscribe to cynicism or ego.
I know a million books and hours of research can not tell you how to listen to your own heart.

I guess what terrifies me is how far the world will push me away
as I defy its morals, its political correctness, and its boundaries
while I take a stand for you.

I'll die one day
but I'll die knowing I loved.